The 5 F’s - fight, flight, freeze, friend and flop

When we experience trauma, our nervous system learns to protect us by using survival responses such as fight, flight, freeze, flop or friend (the 5 F’s).

These responses are instinctive, and our body’s way of trying to keep us safe against threats.

They are survival responses and often stick around even when we are safe and no longer in danger. Our body cannot distinguish between real threats and our nervous system continues to react as though we are in an emergency situation.

The 5 F’s

Fight occurs when someone may attempt to confront or resist the threat. This can include physically fighting, pushing, struggling, and fighting verbally e.g. saying 'no'.

Flight occurs when someone may attempt to put distance between themselves and the threat. This can involve fleeing from the situation or hiding.

Freezeoccurs when in response to a threat, someone’s brain temporarily goes into a frozen state and they may be unable to move their body, act or respond to what is happening e.g. going still or silent, seeming spaced out.

Flopcan often occur when 'freeze' isn't working. This is where someone may go from a rigid 'freeze' state to a 'floppy' state. They may put up little to no resistance to what is happening to them and might follow directions from the threatening person e.g. getting into their car.

Friend occurs when someone may attempt to socially engage with the threat and befriend the person who is dangerous. For example smiling at a person who is threatening as a way to placate them and socially engage. This can also include negotiating, or pleading.

Understanding how our nervous system responds to trauma

It is important to be aware that the 5 F’s are are survival strategies and not actions we make a conscious choice about.

It is common afterwards for someone who has experienced trauma to reflect back on something that happened to them and wonder why they didn't fight or shout. They might criticise themselves for acting in a certain way.

This can be confusing but it is important for people to recognise a survival response is not a choice and they didn't do anything wrong, they did what they could to survive.

Regulating your nervous system

To move past this, we need to unlearn these responses and rewire how we react. Down regulation is the process of intentionally calming down your nervous system.

It means recognizing that your nervous system is starting to respond to something as if it was an emergency, staying calm long enough to evaluate the situation and then respond in an appropriate way. Over time, we can learn strategies to respond rather than react.